Dear Deshaun Jackson and Eagles recievers,
F@cking run your motherf@cking routes and f@cking catch the motherf@cking ball. You f@cking worthless motherf@cking pieces of f@cking bullsh@t.
Sincerely,
Jon Gruden.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Depression
Depression according to WebMd is when your grandfather decides to suddenly pass away after finally watching all his grand children grow up.
Depression is what happens when monte announces to leave the bucs.
Our defense has just shitted the bed in the last three weeks coinciding with monte's announcement to coach another team with his son.
Depression is what happens when monte announces to leave the bucs.
Our defense has just shitted the bed in the last three weeks coinciding with monte's announcement to coach another team with his son.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Ron de bar Ber
Bob you notice? this old dude was gettin blown the fuck up in the first half of the season. Remember that Chicago game? he got murdered. I swear every week we were talkin shit about our favorite player. blow coverage, gettin beat deep, couldn't man cover, old, useless and needed to play on the bench.
But what now. hes had picks in the last two games. one returned for a td. He has 4 picks now, played great in coverage in the last month. I swear its a different player. I got a theory. I think Tiki decided to play corner for the bucs the first 8 games of the season, and then Raheem Morris noticed NY type of smug fake swagger tv attitude rather than the palm leaves I live on a fuckin beach laid back attitude and called the twins out on it.
My only gripe with the man is why the fuck does he try to tackle opposing player from their shoulder pads? watch him, he takes extra effort to put his hands on each shoulder pad to wrestle a player down. It looked awesome when he took down steve smith. However, he looked like a little kid when jonathan stewart manhandled him with a stiff arm that would make ron burgandy feel like a girl. I blame our DTs or our DE's disguised as DTs. apparently its fooling no one.
But what now. hes had picks in the last two games. one returned for a td. He has 4 picks now, played great in coverage in the last month. I swear its a different player. I got a theory. I think Tiki decided to play corner for the bucs the first 8 games of the season, and then Raheem Morris noticed NY type of smug fake swagger tv attitude rather than the palm leaves I live on a fuckin beach laid back attitude and called the twins out on it.
My only gripe with the man is why the fuck does he try to tackle opposing player from their shoulder pads? watch him, he takes extra effort to put his hands on each shoulder pad to wrestle a player down. It looked awesome when he took down steve smith. However, he looked like a little kid when jonathan stewart manhandled him with a stiff arm that would make ron burgandy feel like a girl. I blame our DTs or our DE's disguised as DTs. apparently its fooling no one.
30 Minutes before the ATL Kick-Off
Enter Jon Gruden with Jeff Garcia in tow.
Jon Gruden: Okay Jeff, your calf's feeling good?
Jeff Garcia: Yeah Jon, that 90-play walk through loosened it up and I think I'm ready to go.
Jon Gruden: Good, good, we're going to need your mobility.
Jeff Garcia: No problem Jon, I'm ready to go.
Enter Luke McCown with his family behind him.
Luke McCown: Hey, Jeff, how are you feeling?
Jeff Garcia: Pretty good, Luke, looks like I'm going to be able to go this one.
Luke McCown: Alright, Jeff, let me know if I need to start warming up. Coach, I'm ready to come in if needed.
Jon Gruden: Good, good, you've taken all the first-team reps this week so you should be well prepared for this game.
Enter Brian Griese with his arm in a sling.
Jon Gruden: Hey, Brian, how are you feeling? Can I massage your feet for you?
Brian Griese: Uh...I'm good, Jon, my arm's still a bit sore but I'm just keeping it in this sling for pre-cautions.
Jeff Garcia: I'll go get my helmet.
Jon Gruden: Wait a minute, not so fast there Jeff. I see a gimp in your walk.
Jeff Garcia: Jon, I'm walking just fine.
Jon Gruden: NO. THERE IS A GIMP.
Jeff Garcia: What the hell. Okay.
Jon Gruden: Luke, you're in.
Luke McCown addresses his family.
Luke McCown: Did you hear that guys? I'm going to play again.
Jon Gruden: SIKE. Brian, you're in.
Yoda: Say what he?
Brian: Uh...Jon, are you sure about this? I can't really throw yet...
Jon Gruden: I'm just going fifth-level on them Brian. Mike Smith thinks that since Luke took all the first-team reps but Jeff went through the walk-through that there's no way that Jeff is going to play so he thinks I'm starting Luke but that there's no way Jeff would go through all the walk-throughs without playing so it's all really a ploy and Jeff's playing and I'd never start you because you haven't practiced in two months. So I'm starting YOU!
Monte Kiffen watches from his desk and takes out a calendar. He marks another tally off under his countdown: Days until Tennessee
Jon Gruden: Okay Jeff, your calf's feeling good?
Jeff Garcia: Yeah Jon, that 90-play walk through loosened it up and I think I'm ready to go.
Jon Gruden: Good, good, we're going to need your mobility.
Jeff Garcia: No problem Jon, I'm ready to go.
Enter Luke McCown with his family behind him.
Luke McCown: Hey, Jeff, how are you feeling?
Jeff Garcia: Pretty good, Luke, looks like I'm going to be able to go this one.
Luke McCown: Alright, Jeff, let me know if I need to start warming up. Coach, I'm ready to come in if needed.
Jon Gruden: Good, good, you've taken all the first-team reps this week so you should be well prepared for this game.
Enter Brian Griese with his arm in a sling.
Jon Gruden: Hey, Brian, how are you feeling? Can I massage your feet for you?
Brian Griese: Uh...I'm good, Jon, my arm's still a bit sore but I'm just keeping it in this sling for pre-cautions.
Jeff Garcia: I'll go get my helmet.
Jon Gruden: Wait a minute, not so fast there Jeff. I see a gimp in your walk.
Jeff Garcia: Jon, I'm walking just fine.
Jon Gruden: NO. THERE IS A GIMP.
Jeff Garcia: What the hell. Okay.
Jon Gruden: Luke, you're in.
Luke McCown addresses his family.
Luke McCown: Did you hear that guys? I'm going to play again.
Jon Gruden: SIKE. Brian, you're in.
Yoda: Say what he?
Brian: Uh...Jon, are you sure about this? I can't really throw yet...
Jon Gruden: I'm just going fifth-level on them Brian. Mike Smith thinks that since Luke took all the first-team reps but Jeff went through the walk-through that there's no way that Jeff is going to play so he thinks I'm starting Luke but that there's no way Jeff would go through all the walk-throughs without playing so it's all really a ploy and Jeff's playing and I'd never start you because you haven't practiced in two months. So I'm starting YOU!
Monte Kiffen watches from his desk and takes out a calendar. He marks another tally off under his countdown: Days until Tennessee
Monday, December 15, 2008
Luke your father hates you
According to a St. Petersburg Times article I found reading PFT, our favorite skywalker was blinded by a lightsaber shoved up his ass when he found out Brian Griese was getting the start against the Falcons.
"The Bucs arrived at the Georgia Dome hoping QB Jeff Garcia could shake off his calf injury and play. When that wasn't the case, backup Luke McCown expected to get the call. Surprisingly, that call went to Brian Griese. No one was more shocked than McCown. "From what I understood, I was going to play, and just before the game, (coach Jon Gruden) went with Brian. I guess he felt like … I don't know. I don't want to speak for anybody. But that's how it happened." McCown, who took the majority of snaps with the starting offense last week, added, "I love playing for this team, and I was ready to play. I had a great week of practice. Again, it's the same story since last year. I'll do whatever I have to do to help this team. That was the route he wanted to go, so what are you going to do?"'
You can't do shit homie, can't do shit.
On a separate note (not really since its still about the bucs), Jermaine Philips is out for the season and derrick brooks might be a no go against the Chargers. We're totally fucked. We might lose the next two games end up 9-7 with no monte. Hey atleast we'll have Styles G. White.
"The Bucs arrived at the Georgia Dome hoping QB Jeff Garcia could shake off his calf injury and play. When that wasn't the case, backup Luke McCown expected to get the call. Surprisingly, that call went to Brian Griese. No one was more shocked than McCown. "From what I understood, I was going to play, and just before the game, (coach Jon Gruden) went with Brian. I guess he felt like … I don't know. I don't want to speak for anybody. But that's how it happened." McCown, who took the majority of snaps with the starting offense last week, added, "I love playing for this team, and I was ready to play. I had a great week of practice. Again, it's the same story since last year. I'll do whatever I have to do to help this team. That was the route he wanted to go, so what are you going to do?"'
You can't do shit homie, can't do shit.
On a separate note (not really since its still about the bucs), Jermaine Philips is out for the season and derrick brooks might be a no go against the Chargers. We're totally fucked. We might lose the next two games end up 9-7 with no monte. Hey atleast we'll have Styles G. White.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
You Judge A QB By...
3rd Downs
3/14 today
4th Quarters
We all know Griese's career record with that
Against the Blitz
I don't know what the stats are here but they're probably not pretty.
Those are all high pressure situations that call for the QB to step up.
I assure you that neither Griese nor Garcias has phenomenal stats in these situations and no matter what situation/playcall it is they have resoundedly failed more than they have succeeded.
But it's okay, keep slurping whatever Griese or Garcia juice you guys have.
3/14 today
4th Quarters
We all know Griese's career record with that
Against the Blitz
I don't know what the stats are here but they're probably not pretty.
Those are all high pressure situations that call for the QB to step up.
I assure you that neither Griese nor Garcias has phenomenal stats in these situations and no matter what situation/playcall it is they have resoundedly failed more than they have succeeded.
But it's okay, keep slurping whatever Griese or Garcia juice you guys have.
A little thank you
Hey DTs I just wanted to thank you for last night ;) Penetrating your flapping vagina was more enjoyable than last time. Call me sometime during the playoffs, or next year.
love,
Michael Turner
P.S. last night was waayyyyy better than last time.
We tag teamed that bitch too, she was unbelievable.
- Slash and Dash
love,
Michael Turner
P.S. last night was waayyyyy better than last time.
We tag teamed that bitch too, she was unbelievable.
- Slash and Dash
ello sims, I'm sorry
Dear Mr. Ryan Sims,
My mom told me I was bullying you. I guess she's right. I'm really sorry for the way we treated you in the past. Pushing you down, stepping in your way, and making fun of you while you were on your ass wasn't very mature of me. I beat you up, and I even doubled teamed you with some of my cronies. Next time ill try to be nicer and won't steal your lunch money. I only hope my buddies and I haven't left any emotional scars from all the times we've left you on your ass and out of the play.
Sincerely,
Panthers Falcons O-line
My mom told me I was bullying you. I guess she's right. I'm really sorry for the way we treated you in the past. Pushing you down, stepping in your way, and making fun of you while you were on your ass wasn't very mature of me. I beat you up, and I even doubled teamed you with some of my cronies. Next time ill try to be nicer and won't steal your lunch money. I only hope my buddies and I haven't left any emotional scars from all the times we've left you on your ass and out of the play.
Sincerely,
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